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ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 months ago

Mitch McConnell Settling Into Retirement by Destroying All the Houses Jimmy Carter Built

thehardtimes.net

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Mitch McConnell Settling Into Retirement by Destroying All the Houses Jimmy Carter Built

thehardtimes.net

ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 2 months ago
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Oft-succumbing and soon-dying United States senator Mitch McConnell revealed his post-political plans of destroying all the houses Jimmy Carter built during his time with Habitat for Humanity.
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  • Infynis@midwest.social
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    2 months ago

    At press time, McConnell planned to expound on his malevolent personal endeavors in the forthcoming memoir, “Human Impediment: Tales of a Worthless Life, Soon Forgotten.”

    Absolutely savage. Hopefully it’s also topical

    • TimLovesTech (AuDHD)(he/him)@badatbeing.social
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      2 months ago

      Sounds like what his epitaph should read, and have it used as a public urinal.

  • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    In 2045 at the age of 103, Mitch McConnell somehow returns

    • Altima NEO@lemmy.zip
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      2 months ago

      As president

  • RangerJosey@lemmy.ml
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    2 months ago

    He would. The old bastard.

  • RustyShackleford@literature.cafe
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    2 months ago

    My friend, Hank Hill will be flipping out. He built a home for Niefko and Alla Lubecki, with a highly virile friend of his, Dale Dribble.

    • ZeroCool@lemmy.caOP
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      2 months ago

      deleted by creator

      • WYLD_STALLYNS@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 months ago

        Dunno. In this day and age, it’s possible he’s attracted to Dale Gribble.

  • ksigley@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    Goddamn, that one got me.

    Great work, @theonion.

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