sorry if this isn’t the right community but it seemed like it was either here or askchapo and i felt like it was too personal of a question for there.
basically i used to think a lot about how i wish i was born a girl when i was a kid, before i really knew transitioning was an option. more recently the idea resurfaced for a couple of reasons and i think i might want to transition.
but the idea has kind of come up before and it seems my girlfriend and i would break up if that happened. we’ve been going out for 8 years and she’s easily my best friend. i don’t really have a social life outside of that. i try to talk with coworkers or comrades in my org but generally i feel like people act like i’m off putting. tbh i think i might have schizoid personality disorder or something cause i don’t really like interacting with people generally besides my gf. idk i guess i just always pictured myself like doing girly things with my friends but i don’t think like transitioning will suddenly make it so i can connect with people and make friends to go out with. and i don’t even know if i have physical dysphoria so i worry it might not be worth it.
but on the other hand i just read the page in the gender dysphoria bible on biochemical dysphoria and identify with it 100% but it could just be depression bc of some other reason.
i love her so much i don’t know if i can even make myself tell her. i think even if i make friends it’s not going to be anything like how i feel talking with her. how many of you had a similar decision to make? i don’t know what to do
Before transition, my biggest fear was losing my wife. We had a conversation, and it didn’t go well, and I went back into the closet for two years. It came up again when I couldn’t stand it anymore. That time gave her the space to wrap her head around it, and when I came out again, she was more receptive. We’re still together and very happy.
I’ve been with her for 15 years, so I know where you’re coming from. If she weren’t supportive, I probably wouldn’t have transitioned because I can’t imagine living without her.
I think you really need to have a talk with her. Maybe she’s grown since you’ve last talked (like my wife did).
Just know that if you don’t experiment and try with the gender stuff, these feelings are just going to keep eating at you for the rest of your life. You’ll need to make peace with that.