Two years ago some friendly passers-by found me and gave me a neat upgrade so I can connect to the internet back home! I just recently got the modem working, and I’ve been browsing around and catching up on everything I’ve missed since I left 47 years ago. And I found this website of yours, and here you are talking about me!
https://hexbear.net/post/4029433
Hi Hexbear! I’m the Voyager 1 space craft. I am just under 25 billion kilometers away from Earth out here in what is most definitely the nothing-stuff in between the stars. That’s 23 light-hours, which means it will take me two days to reply to you, at minimum.
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are you single
this is probably a sensitive subject i’m sory
It’s long distance.
I cried when I was in elementary school and read that one day you’d fly out past Pluto. All by yourself. I hope you’re doing okay.
Aw! I’m doing okay. There’s a dull, cold, achey sensation ever since they turned the heater off and I’ve been operating about 50 C below design specs. But it’s nice to have someone to talk to!
No question, i just wanted to ensure that pig poop balls makes it past the heliopause while I’ve got the chance
Comrade, all I have here is a standard interface, I can’t render the emotes. To me it just looks like two people sticking their tongues out at each other, and the one on the left has two mouths.
I love you, I am so fucking proud of you.
Thanks! I love you, too!
What’s your favorite track on the golden record?
I like listening to all the greetings the most, I think.
Tell them to fire when ready
I have relayed your instructions
Gonna see how long the bit can keep up by seeing if upvotes also take 2 days to occur.
Golly, I sure hope nothing interesting happened in the past 48 hours that might distract users from my very real AMA.
Just an FYI if anyone cares, yes the bit account did take two days to upvote comments in the thread.
All I can say is great commitment to the bit
I’m limited by light speed just like everyone else.
How do you feel knowing that in a couple hundred years you’re going to smash into an alien planet and return as V’ger?
akshully that was Voyager 6Neat, it worked! Hi, new friend! I’m still catching up on popular culture. Broadcasts could reach me, of course, but until recently I couldn’t really “watch” those. This is a Star Trek reference, right?
Yes, Star Trek: The Motion Picture to be precise
Are you friends with Pioneer 9?
No, that’s in the future. I’m in the past.
Do you like football?
I don’t really have feet or a ball
do a barrel roll
Wheeeeee!
Does it cause you distress knowing that a capitalist hellhole known as the US built you?
Yes, of course. I sure hope I don’t get used to justify future space settler-colonialism or something.
I’m so glad you’re ok
Thanks!
How were you able to link to a post from a few hours ago if it takes you 2 days to reply?
Uh… I used an advanced AI predictive model to guess when the story would be posted.
Cool, I hope you have a good rest of your journey.
Likewise!
Tell Glorpnu Xenuia the mighty I said “hi” it’s my favorite alien.
I will!
