Oh yeah, at first she asked me to qualify them with “I think you are beautiful/pretty/clever” etc. because apparently it triggered some “he’s making fun of me” knee-jerk reaction in her head, even though she knew I wasn’t. But eventually I could drop it and just make statements of fact now, she still did the thing where she downplayed compliments like “yeah but my cheeks are too red” or “I think my make-up turned well”, but now she can’t do that anymore either because we have a kid and she has to be a good example

In fact my kid started copying me and tells her she is pretty too It’s gotten loads better, and she finally found a therapist willing to take her so I’m hoping it will get even better, though probably worse at first. Her first question was “Why do you even keep in contact with your mom?” and I’m so grateful someone finally gets to talk to her this bluntly and openly, because I have to be the safe and supportive place so I can’t. Big things happening over here