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InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net to askchapo@hexbear.netEnglish ·
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11 months ago

Who would be the funniest (mostly) plausible Trump VP pick?

hexbear.net

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Who would be the funniest (mostly) plausible Trump VP pick?

hexbear.net

InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net to askchapo@hexbear.netEnglish ·
edit-2
11 months ago
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62
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  • cross-posted to:
  • askchapo@hexbear.net
  • askchapo@hexbear.net
  • askchapo@hexbear.net
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  • MaxOS [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    hunter

    • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      Shit beat me to it. My dream is the felons ticket '24

      • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
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        11 months ago

        They do could a series of hip hop videos called “Trump 'n Hunter”.

        I’m imagining it’s dark at a yuge mansion and there’s lots and lots of dry ice mist. They drive up in a one million dollar supercar and Trump comes out in a black suit, white shirt, black necktie, and he’s got big Gucci shades on. Hunter is also wearing a suit and tie but not as nice and his shades are smaller.

        • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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          11 months ago

          blob-stop

          • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
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            11 months ago

            “I’m not supposed to tell you now - I’ll get in trouble… But I’ll tell ya now. My guys and some women too. But not so many. And central casting women. No uglies. Madeleine Albright - have you seen her? No.”

            • “For FBI - George Santos. We are gonna investigate the democrats.” Sing-song “Investigate-Investigate-Investigate… bye-bye.”

            • “For DOJ - Scott Baio. Very, very loyal. I can do what I want. I’m gonna try the democrats a lot. Trial, guilty, jail. Official act. Barron told me ‘Marionette Scott Baio’. Yeah - that.”

            • “For Defense - Ted Nugent. He knows guns and Gaza.”

            • “For CIA - Kid Rock. My spy guy. And I’m gonna change things so they can work in the US. And black sites here too.”

             

            “I could keep going. The big list is even greater. You’ll love it.”

        • Yeat [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          11 months ago

          seriously why hasn’t trump at least dropped one rap verse? he’s tapped in he was just with ot7 quanny, surely he could lay down a 16

  • PorkrollPosadist [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netM
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    11 months ago

    None of these losers

    Burgum? Never even heard of this dork. Incumbent Governor of North Dakota. He started his career as a McKinsey consultant. Republican Pete Buttedgeedge. Low energy.

    J.D. Vance? Ivy League Eminem? Really? Come the fuck on.

    Little Marco? It would technically be funny, but no comedy bit is remembered for being technically funny.

    In reality, Trump will pick someone boring as a prophylactic against being couped. That was the whole idea behine Mike Pence. Dude had about as much verve as a cool glass of prune juice.

    The funniest (in a shambolic and horrifying sense) choice would be Vince McMahon. They do have a long personal connection.

    • MaxOS [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      Vince McMahon

      lol, now we’re talking

    • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      Ben “Pyramids Full Of Grain” Carson

      • ProletarianDictator [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        11 months ago

        What will Trump have to promise the Kims to get Benny back?

    • plinky [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      tim scott would be phenomenal (if he is the guy with fries), almost eric adams tier shitposter

  • ClimateChangeAnxiety@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    santos-peace

    I want it so badly please Mr President pick Santos

    • emizeko [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      not eligible, but he should pick him anyway

      • BoxedFenders [any, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        11 months ago

        Why not? He is 35 and American born. Does his expulsion from Congress make him ineligible?

        • emizeko [they/them]@hexbear.net
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          11 months ago

          hmm I coulda sworn he was Brazilian. his wikipedia page is very cagily phrased, doesn’t specify where he was born

  • buh [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Rudy Giuliani

  • ChaosMaterialist [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Hexbear does not lie…

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
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      11 months ago

      “Everybody… Everybody… Do you wanna know who my VP pick is?” There is yelling and cheering. “Do you wanna?” The crowd is roaring. “You wanna - right? You wanna.” The noise is incredible. “He’s like a superhero. A superhero! C’mon out here Mr. Black Justice…”

      • Feinsteins_Ghost [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        11 months ago

        America needs more superheroes. You’re hearing it more and more.

  • FnordPrefect [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    OK, probably straining the “mostly” here, but why not:

    Mike “Pillow” Lindell or melon-musk for the rich conman huckster unity ticket

    or

    fall-in-line for four years of this dynamic

    • HexReplyBot [none/use name]@hexbear.netB
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      11 months ago

      I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

      • yewtu.be
      • inv.nadeko.net
      • yt.artemislena.eu
      • piped.video
  • Feinsteins_Ghost [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    MTG. why tf not?

    • InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.netOP
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      11 months ago

      “Liberals - they hate her. They hate her! Me? I love her. I love her.” Big reveal - she comes out stage left. The audience goes “Ah!?!” and then starts cheering and a-hootin’ and a-hollerin’.

      She reaches her mic and starts squawking “Hey, everybody, I’m Marjorie Taylor Greene - the president’s veepee - and we’re gonna slay the demoncrats!” There’s an explosion of rabid yelling and screaming. Trump is clearly a bit annoyed by this. He jumps right in to get the focus back on him.

      “Yeah… Yeah…” He’s even more annoyed because they aren’t quieting down fast enough. “Yeah.” They quiet down enough so he can continue. “They’re done. And no more windmills. They’re done too. Bad. Bad. Very bad.”

    • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      She’s even more catty than Trump is. She’d call Kamala out for her fake eyelashes.

      • Feinsteins_Ghost [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        11 months ago

        That gal is extra and ain’t afraid to use it. Good grief.

  • Thief_of_Crows [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Gotta be Mike Pence, right?

    • peeonyou [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      I know I would laugh

  • citrussy_capybara [ze/hir]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Joe mcmansion because don wants everyone to call the White House the Trump Mansion

    • fox [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      Why is the bauhaus labeled as mcmansion

  • LocalOaf [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    mypillow-stare

    • Pentacat [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      Xanax VP to crack VP. Makes sense.

  • NapoleonBlownApart [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    How is it not J.D. Vance? All the dog whistles of DeSantis, but with a lot more swagger

  • Alaskaball [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Sarah Palin

  • Utter_Karate [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Hillary Clinton.

  • Assian_Candor [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Ben Carson

  • Dirt_Owl [comrade/them, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Me

    • Angel [any]@hexbear.net
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      11 months ago

      First owl VP; different species are now making strides in American politics

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